I have always been open to interracial, intercultural, intersocial, inter-whatever relations. The differences between two people can be fun, interesting, and make for a good strong relationship. But even in the best of relationships that involve a variety of differences, there will inevitably be misunderstandings and obstacles. I had never really thought about all that though until I was in this type of relationship. I must throw in that it is my first relationship so I'm also learning about all the relationship basics at the same time. Oy.
I think that in a lot of ways our relationship started off because of our differences. To him, I was a foreigner(bonus points!), which means money, completely different lifestyle, something different and exciting, a way to see the world a little, and to me, he was a Cuban which is exciting and different for me and a way to see the real Cuba. It didn't hurt that he was one of the more attractive human beings I've ever seen. Throughout our time together so far, we have learned a lot from our differences. I don't know what he would say but I think I opened his eyes up to a different perspective on the world, which he hasn't had the opportunity to see in the censored, caged-in society in Cuba. At the same time he has taught me about life in Cuba, his ideas, and at the same time I am learning to look at my life and my ideas differently.
There are also moments of misunderstanding that come along with these differences. The cultural misunderstandings and differences can be a little difficult, and sometimes humorous in a way. For instance, the whole dating game is completely different. After getting Jose's number, I waited the American standard 3 days to call him, not wanting to seem desperate obviously. On the third day, his friend Geovanis addressed me about it, asking why I hadn't called Jose and what was wrong with him? I tried, unsuccessfully to explain that that is how you are supposed to do things in the U.S. He just didn't get the point. I had to laugh at this and other similar instances. We play so many games in the dating world here in the U.S...don't call immediately, play hard to get, let him call you, blah blah blah. I found it relieving to not have to deal with all that. If I wanted to call him, I did, if we wanted to hang out three days in a row, we did. It was so much easier and less stressful once I got used to the fact that that is how they did it there.
I'm still trying to figure out all the different ways that we do things and the different ways that we think, and trying to embrace it for what it is and although it's hard to get around it sometimes, it's a really good thing at the same time to learn how people do things differently and adjust on both sides to make it work.
The language barriers proved a lot more comical. My Spanish is okay but nowhere near fluent, especially my Cubanespañol, and he only knows a tiny bit of English so we communicate in Spanish. We got in a fight once because I don't understand how to use the verb gustar and so thought he was saying he didn't like me; and he freaked out the other day when I told him I was having dos dientes taken out and he thought I said todos dientes. I was a little hurt that he wouldn't love me if I had no teeth...
The mix ups are endless and sometimes endlessly entertaining and the truth is I love that part of our relationship because no matter if it's good or upsetting or hilarious, it is always interesting.
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